Hell hath no fury.....

Have you ever heard the phrase "If mama ain't happy then nobody is happy"? Or what about "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"? Maybe you have not only heard these phrases but experienced these phrases also! I know that I have. I'm sure if they were asked, my husband and children would say AMEN to the phrases....I'm not sure why they would think it though? (Do you see the halo over my head :)?)

Anyway, I received an email that reminded me of these phrases and I thought it was too funny not to share. Now all you guys that read my blog (three of you - Mitchell, Daddy, and Greg) don't get yourselves offended or your feelings hurt. I'm just trying to help you.

There are nine words or phrases that women use that men should be aware of:

1. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine (#1).

4. GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it!

5. LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. THANKS: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" - that will bring on a "whatever").

8. WHATEVER: Is a woman's way of saying _ _ _ _ _ _ _ You!

9. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.